September 3, 2009

These are some of my addictions. I acknowledge them and will work on moderating:

Six of these things are edible: Coffee, Kombucha, Ginger Chews, Peanut Butter Pretzels, Stogo Ice Cream, Sea Salt Soy Crisps. Two of these are expensive: Kombucha and Stogo. Two are not even addictions: Ginger Chews and Soy Crisps. The worst one is probably coffee.

I do not plan on moderating my addiction to knitting. I just wanted 9 things to list and liked this painting. However, I need to limit how many projects I START.

I do not need more yarn. I plan on only getting supplies for Christmas knitting. Thats it. I recently started knitting too many shop samples and feel like Im not making progress on anything. (Eg: Sweater, baby hat, cashmere hat, shawl and mittens… all for the shop)

As for personal knitting, I started two recently after a summer long yarn diet.  I tried to knit up a lot of the stuff I have had sitting around for a while.  I of course didnt finish any of them but got a lot of yarn knit up anyway.  At least the yarn is in progress. Its a step in the right direction, eh.  Two Christmas projects are underway: one for Emu and one for Remoy. Both sweaters. Both for Christmas.

Ask me if I finished the one from last year for Em. 

Birks: I just want  to wear em everyday. I bought my first pair of Birks this season; all others were stolen from my mom’s closet.

So, this also does not really count.

Stay tuned for the uber stimulating posts, folks. They just can only get better.


I dont believe in this western medicine shit most of the time. elements of it help people but the majority of our health problems are preventable but we dont do that. yesyes. baby out with the bath water. i dont care.

But i have to put that aside because i am starting to get scared about my health. i haven’t had a regular period since august 2007. that is more than a few missed periods. im 22. it makes me feel panicky when i think about it. i obviously want nothing to do with reproduction and children…..  for a while i may have tried to convince myself that i had evolved, ya know? the world is overpopulated so we are just going to stop reproducing because its evolution. we are too many. nice thought but its more likely that something like the amount of petroleum ive inadvertently consumed over the years has affected my ovaries.

anyway…. i was going to acupuncture for a while but she is having a baby right now and I am not ready to build another relationship up. it took me a bit with that anyway.  without acupuncture, i thought i’d run a lot and try to figure out my health on my own. but i havent been. 

its not a good idea to self medicate but… eh. i dont so much trust doctors, i live in my body, i have a better sense of what i feel, whats normal for me, etc. i know what i have is called amenorrhea, which is when you stop getting your period. i obviously am not anorexic and i obviously am not over exercising. in fact, when i was a little intense with the exercising i was getting my period. that was likely my outlet for this ugly thing we all deal with day in and day out and just accept as a fact of life. that little bugger is stress. so… im not getting my period because of stress? it makes sense to me and maybe from the outside it doesn’t seem to be logical but its there all right. i half hope its related to my hypothalamus instead. that is easier. and would explain a lot more simply but at the same time that would mean i’m at high risk for osteoporosis?

here you have it:

  • Stress-related amenorrhea, also known as psychogenic HA, can affect normal weight, nonathletic women due to high levels of cortisol (a stress-related hormone) and accompanying endocrine and metabolic changes in the body.  
  • Furthermore, long-term amenorrhea has significant complications of its own, such as a significantly increased risk of osteopenia and osteoporosis. Osteopenia is literally defined as “poverty of bone”, and refers to any decrease in bone mass below the normal. The more commonly used term, osteoporosis, is an advanced version of osteopenia, meaning that the loss of bone mass is more significant.
  • Secondary amenorrhea may also be related to hormonal problems related to stress, depression, anorexia nervosa or drugs, or it may be caused by any condition affecting the ovaries, such as a tumor. The cessation of menstruation also occurs permanently after menopause or a hysterectomy.
  • If a woman has missed three or more periods in a row, a physician may recommend blood tests to measure hormone levels, a scan of the skull to rule out the possibility of a pituitary tumor, and ultrasound scans of the abdomen and pelvis to rule out a tumor of the adrenal gland or ovary.

Possible causes? Generally, the causes of amenorrhea include certain genetic defects, body structure abnormalities, or endocrine disorders. Specific causes include the following.

  • Developmental problems, such as the absence of the uterus or vagina
  • Hormone imbalance produced by the endocrine system
  • Excessive amounts of the male hormone testosterone
  • Improper functioning of the ovaries
  • Intrauterine infection or endometritis
  • Menopause, usually between the ages of 40 and 55
  • Pregnancy or breast-feeding
  • Discontinuation of oral contraceptives
  • Disease (such as diabetes mellitus or tuberculosis)
  • Stress or psychological disorders
  • Malnutrition, extreme weight loss, anorexia nervosa
  • Extreme overweight (obesity)
  • Extreme exercise (such as long-distance running)
  • Drug abuse

i successfully made an appointment at an office not far from my apt. i went online, looked up a obgyn close to me who takes oxford health, was put on hold four times and told that the doctor i looked up who accepts my health insurance can’t see me until mid-late december. so, they give me an appointment with a PA and i dont think a physician assistant can help me.  

the funny thing is i have been putting this off for so long and suddenly i want to go right now, waiting another day is terrifying and i’m thinking about it more and more. but they squeezed me in and my appointment is a few weeks away instead of a couple months.

im mad nervous already.